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This weeks big song

25 Apr

Daft Punk “Get Lucky” … Amazing!

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Due to unforeseen circumstances…

31 Mar

The office of The Dirty Side is now closed…for expansion ohhhhhh

We will return at some point in the future but in the mean time we’re recruiting??

Have you got what it takes to make up a load of old shit and post on the pages of The Dirty Side?

Contact us for more information: thedirtyside@hotmail.co.uk

Bob for TDS – searching for Neo

UP 2 Gets Off To A Bad Start.

23 Mar

Disaster stuck on the set of Up2 today.

The sequel set in japan has been put on hold as the crew investigates.

Toby Le’rone – Sorry guys

Insect world rocked by No-Fly Zone decision!

18 Mar

Today billions of  flies are preparing to move out of Libya due to the no-fly zone.

It is believed the flies are in crisis talks with the Libyan and US governments claiming they are an integral part of the Middle East experience.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hard done by, Stuart prepares to leave…

Bob for TDS – that picture is horrible.

If in doubt, scrap science and pour water on it

17 Mar

When something breaks down we all know what happens, you have a little look at it only to discover that you can’t see anything wrong…

So what do you do?

You hit it of course! Everybody knows that.

TV broken? Give it a dig! Hit the remote in your hand! Works every time.

Engine not starting? Hit the steering wheel, or if weather permits, get out and give it a kick. Chances are it will fix it. If not, you can relax knowing you did pretty much everything you possibly could to resolve the issue.

Turns out the same can be said for Nuclear Reactors! I know. Talk about universal laws.

But instead of hitting it, you just pour water on it…

So there you have it, billions and billons of cold hard cash is spent globally on research into making Nuclear Energy safe and what it boils down to (excuse the pun) is just pouring water on it when it gets a bit hot.

Brilliant! Nice one science.

Why don’t you build the reactor casing on the tip of a rocket? That way any problems and you just fire it into space. Easy, solved. That will be 100 million pounds please? You know, for all the research I put in.

Bob for TDS – solving global issues one at a time.

British holidaymaker blamed for Japanese disaster

14 Mar

Big Dave’s trade mark ‘Tsunami Flop’ was a step too far, says government.

Bob for TDS – sorrrrrryyy…

The 100th Dirty Side post

11 Mar

Today we’ve had a stark reminder that we live on a volatile planet spinning through an unpredictable galaxy. No matter how safe we build the world around us, we are weak to the forces of nature. Do not think for one minute we have nature under control. Just look where we live! On a rock, in space.

The Dirty Side sends its cold digital heart out to all the victims of Japan’s Earthquake/Tsunami.

No jokes folks – the news today is not funny at all.

PS. while we’re doing good things, can someone please help Charlie Sheen out? Filming him falling apart for profit  is very sad America.

Bob for TDS – 1 post in every 100 is a nice one, welcome to The Dirty Side. We’ll be back Monday to resume our normal service of badly written, badly spelt, grammarless, overly critical, pop-up crap for you to enjoy.

UN get BAA in to manage Libyan No-Fly Zone

9 Mar

Experts in Airport disruption, BAA, are to manage the imposed no-fly zone over war torn Libya. It is believed that BAA will use one of their favourite tried and tested excuses of ‘snow on runway’, not too dissimilar to that of Network Rail’s regular ‘leaves on track’ scenario, panic and ground every plane across the Middle East.

A BAA spokesperson said ‘If you’re looking for general incompetence then BAA have you covered. We’ve caused far more trouble to the everyday passenger than most wars do, so obviously we were the first choice’.

It is believed that Hollywood hardman B.A. Baracus, is to spearhead the campaign with the tag line ‘You ain’t flyin’ no planes, crazy fools!!!’

Bob for TDS – pitying the fools!!

He who dares, better hope the government had no hand in the organisation

7 Mar

Government officials are today walking around with a face full of egg after the worlds best Special Forces unit were detained on arrival in Libya on suspicion that, wait for it, they were carrying guns.

Now, I don’t proclaim to be an expert in Military strategy, but I have seen enough Bond films to know that when you send in the Special Forces unit you generally don’t have them walking through passport control.

I mean, I couldn’t get a tube of toothpaste through security at Heathrow airport, so god knows what they were thinking strolling into war torn Libya and putting their machine guns in the little black tray, taking their tactical assault equipment belts off and waiting in the line to walk though the metal detector.

‘Have you got anything in your pockets sir’?

‘Well yeah, this block of C4 plastic explosive and some hand grenades!’

I would like to be the first to congratulate the organisers of this two-bit shitstorm.

Take heed, print this off and stick it on the fridge…

Note to self: Top Secret Special Forces units are much better at being Top Secret Special Forces units when they work in top secret. Idiot!

Bob for TDS – he who tries fails!

Clegg and Gaddafi go head to head…

4 Mar

…in unpopularity contest!!!!

The Result…

Well, I think if any of us could be bothered to go out and smash the streets of London up, in order to remove Clegg, we would.  That would mean a lot of effort on our behalf though.

Clegg pips it !!!

Bob for TDS – who’s going to make the Tory’s tea now?